Thursday, August 16, 2007

Dashing Around

Yes, I'm home. Thanks to friendly UScareways I returned home 2am on Thursday. Only to drive off to a horse show. My ears still haven't equilibrated thanks to one of my many flights: the one on a Dash 8-100 I took from Knoxville to Charlotte. I sometimes wonder why this puddle-jumper is named "Dash". It doesn't exactly dash between airports. Perhaps if we crash it is so small that they can clean it up in a dash? Who knows. I bet they paid some marketing person lots of money to come up with that one.

Sure enough, I ended up sitting by the propeller. Luckily, my seat was just a bit behind the propeller so if the propeller flew off the engine and sliced through the fuselage it would ginzu the woman in front of me. I am not a nervous flier. I just get annoyed flying on this plane because it is so noisy I can't fall asleep during take off. You feel like you are in a garbage disposal: rattling your teeth and vibrating your ear drums.

As I was adjusting my noise reduction headphones, a male voice came on the intercom - you know the type, where they talk in this smooth voice and you can't distinguish any of the words. Later a female voice came on to tell us that we'd be pushing off after finishing up a little paper work. Great! A woman driver! At least we won't get lost I thought to myself. At least she wouldn't be afraid to ask for directions!

The flight attendant was scaled to our plane. She was this tiny little thing. At first I thought they did away with the child labor laws. After all, the airlines are in a bit of financial trouble. I was on one flight where they announced "We know you have a choice of bankrupt airlines so thank you for flying ours - we need the money." As this tiny attendant was motioning to the emergency exits on our Dash 8-100, I was thinking that she weighed less than the emergency exit door. I would have to depend on the granny with the orthopedic shoes to heft the emergency door out of our way when that propeller flies across the cabin.

Anyway, it is good to be home, if only to leave again. While I was at Oak Ridge I had to keep reminding myself that I was the one with an accent. I did some sketches which I will scan in and post once I'm home long enough to do more than unpack and repack suitcases!!


kerrip said...

So glad you're home safe - or at least on the ground. I get very airsick flying so your description almost made me queasy. On my last flight, former silver medalist Roz Sumner was on board, and I told Scott our plane would crash because they always crash with minor celebrities on board... you know, so the news could report that former olympic medalist Roz Sumner and 78 other unlucky schmucks went down in the Atlantic...

DEW said...

Ha! That is why I will always be safe on an airplane. I am always traveling with myself and, as Scott pointed out, I'm a nobody (rather than a somebody). Better to be a live schmuck. ;)

Anonymous said...

I laughed out loud at your witty remarks regarding your puddle-jumper airlines flight. I can relate because I take a similar plane in and out of my hometown to the big “city.” -QK

Going For Greatness said...

hahah oh!! I know these little 2 engine babies all too well. I used to use them frequently between Aspen and Denver to 'hop' over the mountains. I hate them too! *UGH*