Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Pond Scum Scooping

You may have been wondering what have I been up to? What glorious destination have I flown off to? What wonderful food have I been devouring? What silly art have I been making? Well, sorry to disappoint you, but I have been raking scum off of our 2.5 acre pond. You may be pondering why on earth am I undertaking such a futile mission? Why would I be doing such an insane thing in 90 degree weather? One word: wedding. OK, THAT explains the insanity eh? And also, not to be rude (but heat makes me grumpy), have you READ the title of this blog lately? That should explain any content that you may stumble upon.

Yes, in a little over a week we will be having a large tent placed on the only spot on our over 100 acre farm that is flat that is not a horse arena: my husband's skeet shooting range. The wedding ceremony will be performed in front of our pond. The problem is that said pond has decided just this year to sprout an abundance of scum. The weather has been strange this year with tons of rain which I believe is the root cause. However, I will blame global warming since that is the "in" thing to do. I also will not forget the fact that once our farm was under tons of ice during the ice age. Personally, I vote for global warming.

I have become an expert on scum and the removal of said scum. This is NOT a fun job. It is not a job that my back is thrilled about. It is not a job that I would ask my worse enemy to do. It is a job I rather not do. However, as with any situation in life, there are some positive points with this job. The first is that I have lost 10 pounds. This is a very good thing since I have to squeeze into a dress that should be on a woman 20 years younger than me. The second is that the pond looks fabulous when it rains - the rain sinks the scum. So, if it rains the pond will look great! This way I can totally rationalize not getting the scum totally off the pond before the wedding. If I don't get all the scum off the pond (and it is truly not possible), this will ensure that it will NOT rain on the wedding. See - isn't this just all great!!

So, you must be wondering - my GOD you are full of wonder today - why am sitting here on the computer instead of scooping scum? Well, it is just way too hot today and I'm doing some inside things for the wedding. I am also discouraged because I can see the scum coming back on the third of the pond I actually completed this last Saturday with Len's and Lee's help (they felt sorry for me). I can "hear" it growing every time I walk outside. This is perfect weather for it!! I can't escape it!! So I've retreated to the house to make a bridal party book for Leanne's wedding. I won't look out of my kitchen or family room windows. If I don't look, I won't see it, and if I don't see it I won't feel compelled to scoop it. And lastly, I took a day off - today is our wedding anniversary so I want to do something that I want to do. So stop nagging me about the pond scum!

So, you must be wondering if I just been out in the sun for a little bit too long. You'd be right! And even though you nagged me about the pond scum, may your air conditioning not falter during this dastardly heat spell! I'm going to go stick my head in the refrigerator (which is a safer appliance to stick your head in than a gas oven with the pilot light off).

1 comment:

kerrip said...

Only you could manage to make a story about pond scum total entertainment. I love it!! - I am off to Martha's Vineyard for four days, so I will be incommunicado for awhile!! Love, me.